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another father's day has passed. Soleil passed away last year and Tasselhoff a year before that. Pierre and Flint are doing well. they make sure to give me kisses. Not a day goes by that i dont miss tass and soso. I try so very hard to be a good ferret father for these two fuzzbutts. I hope that I provide these guys the best lives possible. If I had one wish, I wish my ferrets had the capacity to speak. I would love to hear them say 'i love you too daddy'
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Last week, Soleil succumbed to her maladies. With Dr. Wright's help, we assisted her in crossing the rainbow bridge. Dr Wright located a very large growth on her stomach. He reassured us that we were making the right decision. For a year and half, I had administered her meds daily. I would always get the best kisses from her on my chin. She was the sweetest little girl ferret you could ever meet. The morning of the procedure, I was once again able to get kisses one last time. That moment will always be in my memory. I think she knew it would be the last time.
She was preceded in death by her brother Tasselhoff nearly one year prior. The loss of Tass was difficult, and now lossing Soleil is sitting heavily on my heart.
The other day, I recieved her remains and now she sits with Tass on my desk by a picture of both of them and some of their favorite toys. It is a special place. I'm able to give their container kisses but it just isnt the same. I miss them very much.
Pierre and Flint, my other 2 ferrets seem to be doing ok with the loss of their sister. They do seem to go look for her in her normal hiding places. They have also started giving kisses in earnest. I do believe they are trying to make me feel better showing that they care too.
Today is father's day. I don't have children my friends do. My children are covered in fur and have 4 little legs. Today is going to be especially hard because I wont have 2 of my babies. I won't neglect Pierre or Flint and I'm very appreciative of their love. I just miss Tass and Soso.
Everyday, I would sing Soleil Soleil Soleil, Come out and Play Today Soleil, to the tune of Ole' Ole' Ole'. The other day at gaming, the group i was with broke into Ole' and it took everything I had to not burst into tears.
I miss you Soleil so very much. You were daddies little girl. my little sosobutt...
I miss you Tasselhoff, You were a paragon of ferretom. my little fatbutt...
I love you both and i'm sorry I wasn't able to fix you. I just hope you had a good life and I hope you knew just how much you are loved.
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This morning I had to make the hardest decision of my life. Tasselhoff's insulinoma had metastisized. He had lost the spark of life. He wouldn't eat or drink and only took a lick of ferretone. My little beautiful boy was losing his fight against pancreatic cancer. It was time.
This morning we helped Tasselhoff cross the rainbow bridge. Dr. Wright felt a limp the size of his thumb where his spleen should be. The final moments were very sad but i'm confident that we made the proper decision. I love the little monkeyman. He was a ferret of all ferrets. Monstrous in size, his personality as big as his beautiful butt.
I will never forget his little face and personality. I love him so much. I've cried so hard i nearly passed out. My beautiful baby bear will not be coming home.
I don't know what to do. I know we did the right thing. It still hurts.
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1 year since the last post...
I'm in a sustained Vampire game.
7th Seas is running still and still a whole lotta awesome
planning on my gritty ars magica game this coming fall
l5r campaign is wrapping up.

all is good in dan's gaming world...
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I'm stuck in a rut when it come to Roleplaying games lately. I'm in a great 7th Seas game and I have a really fun Hunters Game just taking off now, but i feel like im missing something.
I have a bunch of ideas for games but no systems for them to fit. I've got ideas of systems but lack the ambition to design.

I really want to play a magic low fantasy game. I used to be able to rely on D&D for my fantasy fall back but 4e won't work. Maybe Pathfinder when it gets produced. Sure i can use the savage worlds system but im not a big fan of that system. I would like to use the story teller system since i hate the idea of d&d levels. UGH. I imagine a dark valley, stone castles with very little glass, cold and dreary climate, an evil shamanistic/animalistic antagonist people, a large gate that closes the valley from the rest of world with no concievable way around, just yet.

I want to craft the mobster game I've got rolling around in my noggin. I've got 1 solid mechanic system, and 1 wishy washy system but i don't have enough reference for the fluff. I don't know enough about the mob to give the game justice.

I look through all the RPG books I have and none really capture me like they used to. There is no spark like before. That thing that snags you and makes you want to play immediately just isnt there. Before 4e came out i was very anxious to play, I loved the idea. Then when it came out that all fell flat. Combat took way to long, its very hard to just pick up and play without prep work. I don't always want to play a minis game and 4e is all minis. 7th seas fills a niche but thats not what im looking for right now. I love l5r but im a bit stale on samurai and rokugan. I thought i would get that buzz when i picked up the shadowrun stuff but that fell flat too. Hunters has my interest but not the same ooomph as i would like. Call of Cthulhu is aways great but its tough to run a sustained campaign when your players expect to die or go insane each session.
I need a new game.
even an old game but a new one to me.
I want birthright converted already to pathfinder.
I want a roleplaying game meshed with a wargame with minis
I want a fun fast paced zombie game.
I want Jay or B or Tommy to move to az to join my gaming group here.
I want a straight up dungeon crawl with easy combat.
I want to be inspired to play again.
I want to be part of a sustained Vampire Requiem game.
I want it all and i want it now
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I can just hear the Obama haters now. I wonder what kind of ignorant comments will be spawn from this!

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I have a goal.
By this time next year i would like to be 250lbs or close.

I've grown fat, lazy, and out of shape. At 31 years old, I'm now worried about heartattacks, strokes, and whatever else might kill me off before my party called life is over.

Went to Jiu Jitsu class last night. and im really sore. really really sore. I'm exhausted but its a good pain.

i need to be able to go through the entire class without gassing too much.
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wormwood audio drama

Dr. Xander Crowe " yeah this ball game you refer to, its the american game thats like rugby for pussies"

I don't know why i laughed so hard, because i love football...just a funny aside
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At age 95, Helio Gracie Passed away.

Helio Gracie one of the creators of Gracie Jiu Jitsu died Wednesday the 28th of January.
I never got to meet the Grand Master though I did know lots of folks who did. Everyone said he was an insanely nice guy with a disarming smile. Who would have thought that up until 3 weeks ago he was rolling with some students and his family?

If legacy's are the signs of immortality, he has achieved it.
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